Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
I hate being the first one to text him all the time...I feel like Iook desperate to get laid when the reality is that im just really horny and he has a/c...
Randomize
