I think i ate a live goldfish last night. that i caught with my hand in a kiddie pool. my stomach really hurts.
So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
The last time I was on vacation the pandemic blew up. Can't wait to see how my vacation fucks up the world this time.
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