She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
