Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
