I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I force fed him french fries and then proceeded to tell him how sexy corgi’s are … it’s safe to say he’s not texting me for a second date.
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