I fell asleep on the toilet again last night...
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
She sucked my dick when I had a concussion. It was the coolest feeling ever but the doctor said it was a bad idea. He's obviously gay.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
Randomize
