who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Randomize
