Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
I woke up only wearing a Breaking Bad "Los Pollos Hermanos" apron he got from Loot Crate next to a 3 empty bottles of Zima,Jolly Ranchers, and a jar of coconut oil. Fernet is one hell of a party starter
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