Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
My neighbor just watched me eat a granola bar without pants, this is a whole new level of unemployed
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He told me to grab his penis so I did and swung it around and said “awe, it looks like the wacky inflatable tube man.
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize