why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
It all started with a game of naked twister.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
Randomize
