i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
