I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Slept with a member of the band last night, found out today after extensive stalking he’s engaged. Pro tip: don’t research one night stands.
Randomize
