If I could pick any std, I would pick genital herpes. Seriously. Have you seen the commercials? The lady is riding a fucking bike, swimming, and on a date. I have a perfectly fine vag and all I do is go to the library.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Randomize
