she said she could "feel the heat of my groin" against her. ruined the whole fucking moment.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I wish my head, heart, dick, and nose could just agree on something for once
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Is kiddo a correct name to call someone who you stuck your dick in?
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
Randomize
