You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
were doing shots for every snowflake that hits the ground
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Roommate is eating a chimichanga, watching Dr Doolittle 2 and weeping. His Tuesday hangovers make me feel better about my life.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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