we're blogging at a bar
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I'm still waiting for my blazer that I left at your apartment, you owe me a blowjob for every day from Thursday on that it's late.
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
Randomize
