i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
All I do lately is eat steak, drink warm beer, watch porn, and avoid booty calls when I'm too lazy to take a shower. I think the apocalypse turned me into a dude.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
Randomize
