i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
we had a ceremony where you passed your fake id onto me in the middle of the bar. i was on my knees and you presented it to me. i don't think the bartenders were suspicious though
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
I just coughed and my vagina hurt. We need to hook up more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize