I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
I love this text stream: discussing the development of a business model centered around cooking acid to bankroll a yacht trip in Croatia
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
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