I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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