But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
You offered the police officer a Snickers ice cream bar and cried when he wouldn't take it...
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
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