kristin has been a bad kristin
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
Apparently I was drunk enough to call he police station and ask if there was a problem with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize