Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
She picked me up from the bar in her underwear.
Theres a handprint of sauce on my fridge, one on my face, and a trail of it leading to my bedroom, and sauce all in my bed, and I have no idea what the fuck i ate.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize