I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
I think your dad took our porno
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I didn't want to fight, I just wanted to tell you to fuckoff.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
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