im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
