from all the glitter we used it actually looked like a disco stick
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
He's a Shit stain on my heart
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
Randomize
