now i know why i became what i already was.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
& he told me 'I don't think ur a big slut-just kind of an average slut'
HE THINKS THATS A COMPLIMENT!!!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
boobs and vodka. thats all i can remember, finals week needs to stop ending like this..
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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