There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
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