woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
Text me some of your sweat
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