so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
