im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
I got her a Nickelback box set.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
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