Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
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