you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
You know its been a rough night when you wake up and the first thing you remember is your mom going skinny dipping.
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I'm drunk from drinking bourbon out of a "cupcake sippy cup" at the Denny's bar. What the fuck happened to the goals I had?
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
Randomize
