Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
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