You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
I GOT EATEN OUT IN A MERCEDES ON A TUESDAY NIGHT. I EARNED THIS SHIT.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
Two really nice girls helped clean the taco out of my hair.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
