does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
He came in, laid on our floor and started to make a snow angel.. On the floor. Then he just left never said a word. 20 mins later walked back in and dropped his pants, looked down and said "wow im happy i had boxers on."
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I didn't know your ex looked like a male Khloe Kardashian?
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
