the bus pole looks like a man who feels guiltyty about something
I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
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