it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I think I died a long time ago.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
If you hook up with your cousin you will permanently be my favorite person ever.
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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