.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize
