how can u be prego again
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Someone wrote Kyle's bitch on me too. I dont even know who Kyle is.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize