What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Randomize
