Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I just gave her a sobriety test in the middle of the baking aisle.
And the results, officer?
She's fucked.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
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