i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
what day is it and did you see me today?
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO BE A DRUNK WHEN ALL MY ENABLERS ARE BUSY?!
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Randomize
