Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
If we could give a gymnastic score to drunken nights, I would be a part of the Fab Five.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Who died my cat blue again?
Seeing my ex post concert Snapchat videos as an Instagram really reinforces that I made the right choice...
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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