I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
The guy I screamed at across the bar for booing the Bruins ended up buying me shots I had to explain to him there's not a chance in hell I would ever fuck a Canadian! #Bostonstrong
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Randomize