It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Randomize
