Can I have the boy from 16 and pregnant's next baby???
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I cam home to find him twitching on the floor, surrounded by unopened condoms and covered in cranberry sauce (yes I tasted it) while Thundercats was playing.
Randomize
