you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
I lost my favorite bra in his hotel room. Is it bad that that's the only reason I hope he texts me tomorrow?
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
