My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
