I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Well he's not a stripper, so we're already doing better than my last date.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize