apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
We got kicked out of yet another strip club because your mom wanted to "show these kiddies how it's done"
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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