you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Randomize
