I CAN MOONWALK!
my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
They left me passes out in the food donation bin with an empty handle and a half eaten box of nutter butters
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
I need to take my iPad to the Apple store (when this is all over). Do I need to delete all my dick pics/videos or are they used to stumbling across that sort of thing?
Randomize
