Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
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