See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Your last day of twenties? OK. Then I'll give you til midnight. Then you turn into a pumpkin. A big, 30 year old pumpkin.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
