This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
I accidentally burped into my bong.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
Randomize
