it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I just met a drunk old lady with a bedazzled life alert alarm around her neck. I love casinos
Randomize
