Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
You were so drunk you coat checked your shoe... Not even both of them. Just one shoe.
He showed up riding a bike blasting the ghostbusters theme song. His name was Lasercat. Im in love.
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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