I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
he had hair everywhere except his balls
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
