guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
