i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
He howled at the moon then told me that if i were a dog he'd have sex with me...either i look like that girl or i need to stop going on blind dates. Period.
Randomize
