literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
Do you ever wake up and realize playing beer pong with your parents wasnt a dream? Your mom really beat you
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
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