Texts From Last Night

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  (201): View more from New Jersey

  You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.

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  (201): You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn. http://tfl.nu/vn8h
  Replies (12) Good night (3428) Bad night (1000)
• Favorite

  (860): View more from Connecticut

  I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist

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  (860): I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist http://tfl.nu/xqx0
  Replies (16) Good night (1375) Bad night (4078)
• Favorite

  (912): View more from Georgia

  Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.

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  (912): Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops. http://tfl.nu/tuda
  Replies (9) Good night (1259) Bad night (3718)
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.

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  (402): On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms. http://tfl.nu/59ye
  Replies (35) Good night (8436) Bad night (1220)
• Favorite

  (64): View more from New Zealand

  Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...

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  (64): Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon... http://tfl.nu/s0w2
  Replies (13) Good night (2517) Bad night (822)
• Favorite

  (603): View more from New Hampshire

  You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"

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  (603): You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet" http://tfl.nu/9891
  Replies (2) Good night (3607) Bad night (628)
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you

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  (907): You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you http://tfl.nu/r2n8
  Replies (8) Good night (2521) Bad night (915)
• Favorite

  (713): View more from Texas

  His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.

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  (713): His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life. http://tfl.nu/34re
  Replies (12) Good night (3615) Bad night (627)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night

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  (517): I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night http://tfl.nu/lvdh
  Replies (5) Good night (1544) Bad night (610)
• Favorite

  (513): View more from Ohio

  I feel awful

  (1-513): View more from Ohio

  Physically or morally

  (513): View more from Ohio

  Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.

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  (513): I feel awful (1-513): Physically or morally (513): Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances. http://tfl.nu/3wvv
  Replies (10) Good night (2579) Bad night (709)
• Favorite

  (954): View more from Florida

  In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?

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  (954): In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in? http://tfl.nu/qdxs
  Replies (7) Good night (1426) Bad night (426)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.

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  (610): My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help. http://tfl.nu/86v6
  Replies (8) Good night (1442) Bad night (547)
• Favorite

  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.

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  (610): I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka. http://tfl.nu/ytpq
  Replies (8) Good night (1150) Bad night (314)
• Favorite

  (416): View more from Toronto

  Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR

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  (416): Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR http://tfl.nu/4v5r
  Replies (2) Good night (367) Bad night (262)
• Favorite

  (334): View more from Alabama

  Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.

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  (334): Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks. http://tfl.nu/nhv4
  Replies (1) Good night (169) Bad night (541)

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