Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(601): View more from Mississippi

I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker

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(601): I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker http://tfl.nu/yjj7

Replies (1) Good night (617) Bad night (1396)
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(909): View more from California

do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?

(760): View more from California

and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook

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(909): do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"? (760): and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook http://tfl.nu/nbai

Replies (28) Good night (4778) Bad night (695)
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(631): View more from New York

I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.

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(631): I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do. http://tfl.nu/h9wr

Replies (6) Good night (3720) Bad night (705)
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(858): View more from California

last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"

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(858): last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian" http://tfl.nu/bnai

Replies (42) Good night (6015) Bad night (783)
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(512): View more from Texas

studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing

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(512): studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing http://tfl.nu/zch9

Replies (12) Good night (1531) Bad night (656)
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(703): View more from Virginia

Casually had to file a missing persons report last night

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(703): Casually had to file a missing persons report last night http://tfl.nu/xg7g

Replies (12) Good night (846) Bad night (1812)
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(863): View more from Florida

I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule

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(863): I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule http://tfl.nu/m3mw

Replies (3) Good night (1007) Bad night (482)
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(973): View more from New Jersey

Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.

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(973): Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical. http://tfl.nu/hbh3

Replies (9) Good night (1954) Bad night (442)
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(206): View more from Washington

Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.

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(206): Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates. http://tfl.nu/0lrq

Replies (5) Good night (845) Bad night (433)
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(207): View more from Maine

I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.

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(207): I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone. http://tfl.nu/cis8

Replies (3) Good night (1191) Bad night (383)
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(336): View more from North Carolina

We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door

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(336): We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door http://tfl.nu/uhw2

Replies (4) Good night (451) Bad night (1063)
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(314): View more from Missouri

He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl

(201): View more from New Jersey

I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl

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(314): He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl (201): I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl http://tfl.nu/d4hf

Replies (4) Good night (1163) Bad night (352)
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(619): View more from California

Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game

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(619): Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game http://tfl.nu/kw14

Replies (2) Good night (701) Bad night (322)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.

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(403): I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave. http://tfl.nu/rhln

Replies (4) Good night (574) Bad night (275)
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(705): View more from Ontario

I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn.

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(705): I was just lying down, dumping goldfish into my mouth and they like all came out I thought I was going to choke and die and people would be like damn that's so sad, she died laying in bed stuffing her face and reading kanye wests twitter, damn. http://tfl.nu/ki2i

Replies (3) Good night (258) Bad night (395)

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