Texts From Last Night

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  (209): View more from California

  Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.

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  (209): Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy. http://tfl.nu/mqdd
  Replies (25) Good night (1895) Bad night (578)
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  (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around

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  (814): I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around http://tfl.nu/xsf6
  Replies (13) Good night (1201) Bad night (2269)
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  (850): View more from Florida

  I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.

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  (850): I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken. http://tfl.nu/xxkh
  Replies (23) Good night (4569) Bad night (799)
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  (517): View more from Michigan

  Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.

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  (517): Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%. http://tfl.nu/8x9e
  Replies (19) Good night (929) Bad night (4143)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?

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  (973): Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes? http://tfl.nu/t0sq
  Replies (17) Good night (3466) Bad night (1866)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.

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  (512): There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex. http://tfl.nu/22uc
  Replies (5) Good night (2469) Bad night (1069)
• Favorite

  (906): View more from Michigan

  scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor

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  (906): scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor http://tfl.nu/aosr
  Replies (9) Good night (1847) Bad night (1297)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.

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  (317): You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order. http://tfl.nu/45qd
  Replies (7) Good night (803) Bad night (1594)
• Favorite

  (515): View more from Iowa

  nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right

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  (515): nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right http://tfl.nu/dqke
  Replies (35) Good night (3167) Bad night (652)
• Favorite

  (530): View more from California

  Maybe I'm a robot.

  (831): View more from California

  You can't be that drunk already

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  (530): Maybe I'm a robot. (831): You can't be that drunk already http://tfl.nu/ekm7
  Replies (8) Good night (2154) Bad night (607)
• Favorite

  (303): View more from Colorado

  I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..

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  (303): I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed.. http://tfl.nu/ghfh
  Replies (14) Good night (614) Bad night (2761)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.

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  (216): Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left. http://tfl.nu/jvbq
  Replies (6) Good night (1547) Bad night (490)
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.

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  (+44): Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is. http://tfl.nu/4j3n
  Replies (5) Good night (2230) Bad night (387)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.

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  (585): He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota. http://tfl.nu/2rl1
  Replies (4) Good night (864) Bad night (366)
• Favorite

  (785): View more from Kansas

  Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season

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  (785): Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season http://tfl.nu/3z2s
  Replies (11) Good night (555) Bad night (219)

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