I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i want to fuck
it's pretty self explanatory
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
23 Bisexuals Confess The Biggest Differences Between Dating People Of Each Sex
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
I have grass duct taped all over my body
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
These 25 Ruthless Teachers Embarrassed Their Students
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now