Texts From Last Night

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  (718): View more from New York

  im about as happy as oj after his trial

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  (718): im about as happy as oj after his trial http://tfl.nu/g9i1
  Replies (20) Good night (2645) Bad night (688)
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  (518): View more from New York

  At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with

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  (518): At least you're going to bed with all the teeth you woke up with http://tfl.nu/oe7q
  Replies (13) Good night (1044) Bad night (3810)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.

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  (954): We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver. http://tfl.nu/zvig
  Replies (16) Good night (4215) Bad night (1386)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.

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  (+44): she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together. http://tfl.nu/1f9e
  Replies (2) Good night (3049) Bad night (1306)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.

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  (860): She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit. http://tfl.nu/aa9j
  Replies (20) Good night (7416) Bad night (1192)
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  (414): View more from Wisconsin

  I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning

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  (414): I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning http://tfl.nu/2xis
  Replies (12) Good night (2070) Bad night (1257)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre

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  (303): im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre http://tfl.nu/07ct
  Replies (10) Good night (2083) Bad night (1252)
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  (+61): View more from Australia

  I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.

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  (+61): I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog. http://tfl.nu/k4kj
  Replies (5) Good night (1702) Bad night (1086)
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  (425): View more from Washington

  I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?

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  (425): I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome? http://tfl.nu/4kcb
  Replies (13) Good night (2365) Bad night (827)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.

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  (563): Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out. http://tfl.nu/o8je
  Replies (4) Good night (1705) Bad night (676)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.

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  (727): She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public. http://tfl.nu/wfd0
  Replies (3) Good night (1015) Bad night (664)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  can i bring anything?

  (443): View more from Maryland

  Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  is there a theme i should know about?

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  (412): can i bring anything? (443): Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer (412): is there a theme i should know about? http://tfl.nu/49rz
  Replies (2) Good night (792) Bad night (344)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.

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  (512): I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer. http://tfl.nu/7huv
  Replies (3) Good night (294) Bad night (714)
• Favorite

  (718): View more from New York

  I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.

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  (718): I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year. http://tfl.nu/i7yv
  Replies (6) Good night (481) Bad night (290)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?

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  (563): The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what? http://tfl.nu/tq85
  Replies (1) Good night (300) Bad night (202)

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