We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
I'm playing with the baby I just found in your kitchen
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i love when people i haven't talked to since we fucked write on my wall.
i refuse to live in a world where loud threesomes in your own apartment are referred to as "rude"
did you yell "are you not entertained?"
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
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Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday