I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
drunk guy next to me on the train just tried to share his pizza with me
he just tried to feed it to me...i love new york
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
You know, this is NOT how I pictured my life would be when I was younger, and yet here we are.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
