i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Literally just had a girl put her street name into my phone. Yeah.
Have I showed you the picture of my vagina with a little bang flag coming out of it?
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
