i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
he fucked my hip out of place.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
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