how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
LSD in a sugar cube. Dropped it in my whiskey sour and felt like I was rowing a boat.
Highlight of the week: I had sex with a B movie star wearing an eye patch.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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