Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
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