she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
In other news I think my vagina is sunburnt
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