Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
siamese drinking twins saturday is a go ... bring duct tape.
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
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