you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize